What will probably be forgotten by many about this past week is that the Panthers and Sharks went ahead and wore their Pride jerseys with nearly full participation.
They made the tougher call.
They knew that by wearing them, they were going to place attention on teammates for their decision not to take part.
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But James Reimer, Eric Staal and Marc Staal shouldn’t get to take away their teammates’ right to celebrate inclusion in the sport.
And so I applaud the Sharks and Panthers for making the decision they did.
That’s the first thing that I want to remember.
It matters. Seeing NHL players wear Pride jerseys sends a message to members of the LGBTQ+ hockey community — that they are welcomed through those arena doors, that they have a place in the game.
They remain a vulnerable community. This NHL season probably hasn’t made a lot of them feel terribly comforted about where the sport is headed with inclusion.
I recently spoke at the official launch of the Alphabet Sports Collective, a tremendous initiative co-founded by Brock McGillis and Bayne Pettinger.
A young queer person came over to me afterward to tell me how much it mattered to hear someone like me, with my platform in the NHL, be an ally for their community. I fought back tears.
And I mean, my simple and perhaps naive goal in all this, and why I chose to be an ally with Alphabet, is that I want the sport to make everyone feel like they belong in hockey. It’s a lofty goal. Because — let’s be real — hockey is not for everyone right now.
For those who argue we shouldn’t mix politics with sport, this isn’t politics. This is saying everyone is welcomed into hockey’s society. That’s not politics, sorry. That’s human decency.
I wish the Staal brothers and Reimer would have heard out this young queer person and their love of hockey and understood the pure hurt it could generate in them to see these NHLers opt out of Pride nights — and to know the reasoning behind it.
I don’t quite understand how Christian beliefs translate into not wanting to put some members of a community on a level playing field.
Listen, I don’t want to force players to take part in Pride nights if they’re not comfortable with it. I’m not interested in shaming them into it. That’s not productive.
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I would much rather they have a chance to have a meaningful conversation behind closed doors with people like McGillis or Pettinger. This is where the real work needs to be done. Education. And believe me, both McGillis and Pettinger are eager to have those conversations. They’ve had lots of them already. Honestly, the NHL and NHL Players’ Association should have McGillis on speed dial.
“I just think we’ve lost sight of what these nights are about,” Pettinger told me Friday. “They’re not asking players to decide what’s right or wrong; it’s about the community for one night that wants to feel welcomed by the NHL and the sport and feel safe — by their favorite NHL team. It’s about the community and welcoming everyone in and not pushing them out.”
My dealings over the years with Reimer and the Staal brothers have been positive. They have always been good people to deal with.
But I think in this case they got it wrong. And I just wish they had talked to McGillis or Pettinger before they made their decision, to at least have a deeper understanding of factors they probably didn’t contemplate.
I’m not angry. I’m not outraged. I’m just disheartened about what’s transpired this NHL season. There was so much joy in my heart when I wrote the Pettinger and Luke Prokop stories over the past few years. I felt like hockey was taking giant steps.
I don’t quite feel that way today.
But it’s not over.
In fact, there are moments like this that give you hope.
Seattle Thunderbirds have the only out gay player in the WHL but chose not to hold Pride Night so fans organized their own. What I didn’t expect was every single Tbird using Pride tape for warmups to support their teammate pic.twitter.com/vEmzQCjZxu — Michaela Gray (@GreyMichaela) March 23, 2023
And then there’s Matthew Tkachuk explaining Thursday night why Pride night mattered to the Panthers.
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“A night like tonight, for me, really is just all about including everybody,” Tkachuk said. “In my opinion, it’s by far the greatest game in the world, and everybody’s welcome in my locker room.”
That’s what I choose to remember.
(Top photo of Anthony Duclair and the Panthers on Pride night: Eliot J. Schechter / NHLI via Getty Images)